Italy: Day 1

05.05.09, 10:30PM

i'm sooooo tired! and so cold!! hindi ako prepared...

1 day pa lang ako dito feeling ko tumaba na ako...

can i go home now? =)

AM: arrived at Rome 7AM. we just left our stuff at home then went to Palatine hill, where roman civilization started in the 10th century BC by the coming together of several villages. we heard of a very interesting vestal virign of the temple of Vesta. =)

Lunch: pizza! weird pizza.. like ham & cheese sandwich. ate at the sidewalk.

PM: Colloseo. i finally got to go inside! yey! i tried to imagine the place as it was centuries ago... people coming in to see the show. they brought food with them which they could re-heat in an oven, the ladies would bring make-up and combs, and some would sew with a bone needle while watching. the games were hard to imagine... they said that before, the arena had a moat around it to force the fighters and animals back into the center. but people would jump into the moat to save themselves. since nobody was dying, the young men went to Egypt and brought with them crocodiles from the Nile river. very very brutal times...

then it rained and we waited inside... i bought a book. =)

we walked to piazza Venezia and saw the statue which was a tribute to Victor II...

then to Fontana de Trevi which we did not get to enjoy the first time we were there. we had merienda near the fountain, pizza again & gelatto! =) fell in-love with the fountain...

then to the Pantheon... then Piazza Navona where we ate a delicious pizza 10 years ago... then back to piazza Venezia, this time on the other side of it where we saw the municipal hall (which we mistook for the spanish steps).

Dinner: went home to have dinner.. yummy penne pasta, beef steaks with gravy, salad, blue cheese, olives and cheese. =)

*WIPE OUT*
zzz.........

Nang Maligo Ako sa Ulan

“When we were kids, the whole world was a playground. As adults, we forgot that.” -- Yes Man

Malakas na ang buhos ng ulan noong ako’y nagising. Bumangon ako para isara ang pinto pagkatapos makaalis ng aking kapatid. Naramdaman ko ang malalakas na patak ng ulan sa aking mga paa. Maligo kaya ako sa ulan? Matagal ko na rin pinangarap na makaligo sa ulan ulit. Kailan pa ba ang huling beses na ginawa ko ‘to? Hindi ko na maalala. Nagdadalawang isip ako at medyo inaantok pa kaya pumasok nalang ulit ako sa kwarto. At doon nagsimula na ako makipagtalo sa aking sarili.

Inaantok pa ako, sa susunod nalang.

--- Minsan lang ‘to! Ngayon na!

Baka magkasakit ako. Pagod ako kahapon, tapos mamaya madami ding gagawin.

--- Magkasakit?! Diba sabi nga ng mga libro mo mas mahina ang immune system ng mga bata? E nung bata ka nga kapag pinayagan ka tatakbo ka na agad sa labas para salubungin ang ulan! Tapos sasabihin mo ngayon ka pa magkakasakit?

Eh.... Baka humina na rin agad ang ulan, sayang effort.

--- Hindi pa ‘yan hihina. Matagal pa yan.

Hindi naman pwedeng nakapantulog ako diba?

--- Magpalit ka na.

...

--- Now na.

Nagpalit ako ng damit, lumabas ng kwarto at nagtungo sa aming hardin.

Masarap pala talaga maligo sa ulan.

Kakaiba ang pakiramdam ng mga patak ng tubig sa balat. Masaya. Para kang lumangoy pero hindi. Pagkatapos ng ilang sandali may iba akong naramdaman. Giniginaw ako. Bakit dati noong bata ako hindi naman ako giniginaw? Ah, oo nga pala, naglalaro ako noon at tumatakbo. Hindi naman ata ako puwede maglaro ngayon kasi wala naman akong kalaro. Magsasayaw nalang ako. Kaya sa gitna ng ulan, ako ay nagensayo ng “Worthy is the Lamb”.

Masaya maligo sa ulan. Masaya maging bata. Lalo na ‘pag matanda ka na.

Gateway to the Acropolis

6,000 years. that's how long scholars think the Greek civilization has been existing. i stood at the gate of the Acropolis, the Propylaia, and was amazed by the enormity of the structure.

for thousands of years, people have come and gone through this gate with various agendas and thoughts. people of different eras and cultures and backgrounds have stepped on the same piece of marble i stood in. i found it hard to comprehend the number of individuals who have gone before me through this same gate. what they looked like, what they wore, what they ate and what they spoke of, i could only imagine. in a sea of people in my thoughts, i was lost. i felt tiny. insignificant. just another vapor in the wind.

in seeing my meekness, i saw GOD's greatness. imagine: how many babies' cries has he heard? how many faces have smiled when they saw the flowers bloom? how much food has He provided the world? how many storms and earthquakes has he allowed? how many families has He cared for? how many lies has He been told? how many broken promises? how much insult and shame has He received? how many times has He gone after those who were lost? how much scorn, rejection and pain has He felt?

i could only imagine.

they say that people have existed for several thousands of years. but how long is a thousand years? i'd never come to understand that, and perhaps i never will. but i do know this, before those thousands of years came to be, the LORD ALMIGHTY was there. He is the ALPHA, and He is the OMEGA; the FIRST, and the LAST.

GREAT AND MIGHTY IS THE LORD GOD ALMIGHTY!
HE IS WORTHY OF OUR PRAISE FOREVER!

Escape

In prison, when you cheat your way out, you escape.
In traffic, when you take the uncongested detours, you escape.
In life, when you want to press pause and take a breather, you have a vacation.

i am going to escape.

yey!

Pregnant.

I had a dream this morning. A nightmare actually.
And i woke up asking....

"buntis ba ako?" (am i pregnant?)

Crazy. I had a dream that i was pregnant! and it felt sooooo REAL. In my dream, for 6 months i didn't know i was pregnant. i didn't cry because i had no tears, i was at a loss and numb. i tried to find the courage to tell my friends that i was pregnant. In my dream, my parents already knew about it. But I thought about my friends at church, my classmates from UERM and high school, my relatives... I thought about my closest friends one by one, and wondered how in the world will i tell them that i am pregnant. I knew that they'd be crushed, and as much as i was hurting, i didn't want to hurt them.

It was... hard. Getting through a day was arduous.

One of my closest friends, ate tina, was so hurt that she didn't say anything. she just cried and walked away. And then i had the guts to tell ate Ana through YM and when i typed in my opening statement... i woke up.

And up to now i thank GOD that it was just a dream. I thank Him that it is not the road i was meant to travel. And i can' t thank Him enough.

But you know what the best part was? In my dream i was praying to God, and i was saying sorry for humiliating Him and for being a terrible witness to His name. And then He said that it's ok. He told me that He'd use this event in my life to refine me, and to bring me closer to Him.

Even in my nightmare, the LORD was my Comforter.
Even in that storm in a dream, HE was my Refuge.

I serve a GREAT GOD.

Praise the LORD, forever!

Date

I have a journal, it's an actual notebook, where i write my heart out. Before i actually write something, i pause and think "where do i start?". With the flurry of emotions and ideas in my head, i don't know where to begin. So i start out by writing down the date. And this helps me a lot. You see, for me it is a declaration, a title in itself. It tells me that i am going to write about TODAY. That is my theme. Today. It narrows everything down to a moment in time. And when i write about that date, i turn those fleeting minutes into lasting memories.

Today is something you will always have; it is something you will always lose.

And when you do lose it, you can never get it back.

That is why i write.

Going back

"Going back to something is harder than you think."
-- Posey Benetto, from For One More Day by Mitch Albom

Stop.
Think about it.
Have you ever tried to go back to something you've left hanging in the past?
Have you tried to again build a bridge you've burned?
Have you stopped and looked back, only to find out that he is nowhere to be found?
And have you turned around, swallowing your pride, and took those painful steps back to the door you slammed shut?
Have you had your muscles tighten and you heart race as you reached to open the door of your fate?
And as the door opened, have you opened your eyes to see the world you rejected and the person you have broken?

What did you see?

Going back to something is harder than you think.