Pregnant.

I had a dream this morning. A nightmare actually.
And i woke up asking....

"buntis ba ako?" (am i pregnant?)

Crazy. I had a dream that i was pregnant! and it felt sooooo REAL. In my dream, for 6 months i didn't know i was pregnant. i didn't cry because i had no tears, i was at a loss and numb. i tried to find the courage to tell my friends that i was pregnant. In my dream, my parents already knew about it. But I thought about my friends at church, my classmates from UERM and high school, my relatives... I thought about my closest friends one by one, and wondered how in the world will i tell them that i am pregnant. I knew that they'd be crushed, and as much as i was hurting, i didn't want to hurt them.

It was... hard. Getting through a day was arduous.

One of my closest friends, ate tina, was so hurt that she didn't say anything. she just cried and walked away. And then i had the guts to tell ate Ana through YM and when i typed in my opening statement... i woke up.

And up to now i thank GOD that it was just a dream. I thank Him that it is not the road i was meant to travel. And i can' t thank Him enough.

But you know what the best part was? In my dream i was praying to God, and i was saying sorry for humiliating Him and for being a terrible witness to His name. And then He said that it's ok. He told me that He'd use this event in my life to refine me, and to bring me closer to Him.

Even in my nightmare, the LORD was my Comforter.
Even in that storm in a dream, HE was my Refuge.

I serve a GREAT GOD.

Praise the LORD, forever!